Cynthia left us 3 months ago

Cynthia left us 3 months ago, today.
One of those moments hit me the other day as I read an email from a staff member asking if they could use an old refrigerator of ours that was sitting in storage, and I thought, “Of course, but I should just ask Cynthia”; and then immediately realized that I couldn’t, and that one thing she was not certainly concerned about any more was that old

refrigerator.
Two different friends have received the same vision of her in Heaven, one in a dream and one during worship in church: she was dancing and twirling and saying, “I’m alive! And I’ve never been more alive!”
I really am happy for her, but another wave of grief washed over me yesterday, knocking me back like one of those big waves that hit Hapuna beach (Hawaii) during the winter. It brought back some of the head pain associated with the shingles, which had disappeared just 24 hours earlier. Anyway, I got through it, and the good news is that the case of shingles is healed, and the pain which had continued on is now gone as well – I’ve had no pain now for 48 hours. Thanks very much to all who prayed.
So I am feeling better but still fatigued and with low energy levels, which is normal they tell me. I’m doing some teaching, but almost no travel, and lots of gardening.
Another intercessor had a different dream which I won’t repeat in all the detail, but which ended with the understanding that the Lord was calling me to identify with Him as He had no bride either; and as He is comforting me He wants me to minister to Him in identification.
I have already had the privilege of identifying with Him in a very small way as the father of a prodigal son (except that He has millions of prodigal children); and also tasting of the amazing joy of Heaven when the prodigal returned. So I will accept this new dimension of worship, as have all of you who for one reason or another have no spouse and suffer because of that. And we will all perhaps better understand the passage in I Peter 4.12-13.
Last night we celebrated Richard’s 38th in their garden, with all the base staff, kids, dogs, and our 3 pregnant ladies. Cynthia had prayed for each of them to have children, she who so well knew the longing ache of wanting a baby for years. The Lord answered her prayers then; and life goes on.